Royalty, Celebrities & Other Privileged People. Do we need them?

I received a round-robin email from a school friend, which attacks privilege in regard to the Olympics and I decided to respond.

First, though, here is his email which was headed “The Olympics, a personal opinion”:

“Whilst I am impressed by the success so far of these Olympics, impressed by the success of the competitors and impressed by the enthusiasm of the crowds, my most abiding impression is that societally and socially GB culture has not progressed one single iota in 430 years.

“When you realise that people like Paul McCartney , the poet, and Pippa Middleton,  the courtier , and their ilk can pick and choose what venue and when  they wish to attend, probably for free, whilst the general public, the peasants, are forced to bid against each other  for the paying privilege of a ticket, or sit outside the venue peering at the screens like the animals in Animal Farm peering at the pigs feasting through the window. Royals at Olympics

“When you see the “Royal” princes and their cohorts popping up at random whenever they feel like it, whilst the peasants queue up to be searched  and herded by security you really do realise that nothing really changes.

“Even back to Roman times this split between privilege and peasant existed and it is worse today, for we now have  privileged, pop stars, footballers and other useless  oxygen wasters at the “top” table and even fewer crumbs spread amongst the peons.

“As soon as our current  queen is gone we should get rid of these parasites, starting with Charlie and his horse and make this into a democratic  Meritocracy instead of  a Monarchistic  society based on inherited and financial privilege.

“Long Live the Revolution.

“Free Cornwall from Charlie and his Horse.”

I am not a great believer in privilege, but it has its place, or I should perhaps say that it has its time and place. This is my reply:

I hope my school-friend will not mind me being equally opinionated in playing devil’s advocate in response to his wonderfully opinionated blog.

Paul McCartney celebrating at OlympicsWhile I understand his sentiments, removing the royal family will just see a replacement by politicians (I notice he didn’t single them out for mention which is very worrying) or warlords, self important civil servants, their cronies and families, so we must take care what we wish for regarding changing the order. In fact he has very effectively shown that process is guaranteed by the inclusion of Paul McCartney above. Last I heard he was not royalty and the presence of the young royals and people like Paul and other celebrities has given a great boost to the enjoyment and satisfaction of victorious athletes and their families, as well as the watching proletariat. Incidentally Paul was only paid £1 for his performance during the opening ceremony. If we are going to line all celebrities up against the wall with the royals there will be little inspiration to become famous and create music, art, poetry and other works that give others pleasure. Watching Arctic Monkeys perform one of Lennon’s masterpieces brought a tear to the eye. No celebrities, no music, poetry, plays, films and, wait for it, no successful athletes to admire – what a world? And did I read his blog correctly, is he not implying that those victorious athletes and their families should not be treated in a privileged manner either? Libya had a way of dealing with this in football. Commentators only ever mentioned their players by their shirt numbers, except for the leader’s son who was called by name. Jessica Ennis should perhaps only be referred to as number 104f, and the medal ceremony dropped as it has undoubtedly turned her into a celebrity, too, and might mean she gets a privileged seat to watch some other event when my poor school friend will have to queue outside for hours to fail to get a ticket.

Royal postcards TVAs an aside, and owing to the swing from print and post to e-communication in the last decade, I cannot be sure if the following is still true today, but in the nineties the entire royal family including all of the hangers-on and their administrations cost around the same as the total VAT income from postcards sold in London alone, so they and their pomp, ceremony and changing of their guards has been self-financing since the beginning of the modern tourist era and has added mega-millions in addition to the public coffers than their own cost. So while many may disagree with the monarchy, removing it would be like slashing billions from the tourist industry’s budgets, so the country’s economy and the plebs, themselves, would be far worse off than if they’d maintained it in the first place. This is not the nineteenth century monarchy being discussed here. It has evolved, no doubt in the interests of self-preservation.

Jubilee CelebrationsThe monarchy also gives many people incredible enjoyment and pleasure as could be seen from the Jubilee celebrations. Only a vile dictator could see a benefit in making those crowds of people’s lives deliberately less happy and enjoyable. Do we really need that? However much we might dislike the concept, the royal family more than pay their way in this society. No one ever lists the jobs created and income made by businesses indirectly from their existence, we only ever get told of their cost to the public purse. The financial scales are never fairly presented.

So what his argument comes down to is that rather than live in our deluxe animal farm, we would be better living in another Orwellian world, that of 1984. Oppressed, living in squalor, hungry and miserable as hell. In fact we have all witnessed the beginnings, teething troubles and demise of just such a world in the old Soviet Union. Scene from 1984We can witness it happening today in North Korea. I know which giant screen I would rather watch with my fellow plebs. We now know that all of those wonderful principles of one for all, equality and sharing resources provided a ruling class who kept the bulk of their wealth and privilege out of the public eye to deliberately conceal it. But the most important point is that not only did it do absolutely nothing for the proletariat, but it made things infinitely worse for them. In these cultures, his blog would have seen him incarcerated for life – if he and his family didn’t completely disappear without trace. No wonder he took exile in France!

His email complains that we are no better off than we were in 1582. Well, today the average Brit can tour the world, works fewer than half their waking hours and lives a life of Tesco luxury. Watching TV The trouble is that that knowledge casts the most god-damned-awful shadow over everything I have said above because the third world has been paying for my friend’s and my privileged lifestyles. African kidsWE are the privileged! The starving of Africa, oppressed of North Korea and dispossessed of the middle east can only look at us and dream and wish they could have afforded to watch the Olympics on personal flat screen tellies, while munching on expensive snacks (which cost a day’s food) and supping the world’s most delicious wines or beers. Now they  would be justified in writing his blog, but, of course, we would not welcome giving up over 80% of everything we have to even up the scales of privilege for them, would we? I think not, even if some of us might wish we had the moral courage to do so, when it comes down to it we are the very privileged class to which my friend refers. £3 a month to a charity is all most of us are actually prepared to sacrifice and how many reading this do even that? Not all of us, for sure!

So the hate of privilege is all relative.

As for his call for a free Cornwall, the last I heard he was living in France, as far as us from our school roots in a Celtic Cornwall, but at least up here in Scotland we have Alex Salmond, our latter-day Braveheart, and are making headway to freedom! However, I would like to reassure him that come independence, we will still let the rest of GB borrow our queen for special events. Elizabeth I of Scotland is descended from Robert the Bruce! So we won’t let them miss out on seeing the royals in future years! LOL.

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Milk – What on Earth is going on?

Milk drop
Farmers have been blockading bottling and distribution plants owing to them announcing that they are cutting the price to be paid by a further 2p per pint when smaller dairy farmers are not even covering their costs on the existing price.

How dare the bottling companies take this unilateral stance?

The major supermarkets need to step in now to stop this injustice. The payment for milk should allow even the smallest dairy farmer to make a living. To think that some of these farmers, who have often invested heavily in new  dairy equipment, are going to have to sacrifice that investment and get out of dairy owing to these ridiculous imposed conditions, is infuriating.

If this were to happen in the oil industry it would be the equivalent of the refiners telling the producers that they were going to reduce the price they were paying. They would be laughed at.

All that can happen through this is that there will be more dairy imports.

The supermarkets are big enough to TELL these bottlers and distributors to get off their high horses and pay a proper rate for the product.

It is the most ridiculous situation I can remember for many a  year. Pass this on if you agree that this is a dreadful injustice on the farmers.

 

Posted in Retailers, Stuff, Supermarkets, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Wallander – the Swedish tourist industry must hate the series

Watched a couple of Wallanders and not sure if I enjoyed it or not.

The scenery was flat and unpleasant, misty, muddy roads and paths. Houses were grubby, untidy, poorly kept and maintained and the whole thing was totally depressing.

Detectives were unshaven and sullen, no one seemed to converse with anyone and the whole thing was most unfriendly. Is this supposed to be the new dark mystery style?

I am sure the real Sweden can’t be like this, but this was a very poor advert for the country. They should take a leaf out of Midsomer Murders’ book.

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Evolution with Him or without Him?

When it comes to religion, the bulk of people finally came to accept evolution and have adapted their beliefs to allow for evolution having been designed by God. This, of course, did not occur until they were forced to accept it by overwhelming weight of scientific evidence and also not before thousands of  people were persecuted, hated and ostracised because of their acceptance or promotion of the theories of evolution.

As usual, when some new thinking comes along which challenges the bible or religious beliefs, every possible effort, twist or turn is taken to avoid accepting the obvious before finally absorbing it within religious belief as if it had always been part of it.

Evolution was anathema to religion, now it is God’s finest idea!

  • This is always the way – Earth is the centre of the universe now it revolves around the sun, organised religion killed people owing to them having promoted the truth, now they have absorbed it within their beliefs.
  • Gradually religions discover that sacrificing virgins does not actually cause the next year’s crop to be better so they drop the nonsense
  • Animal sacrifice to God have almost died out except in the most backward societies yet it is an important part of the bible
  • Some religions believe that cows are holy or pigs are “in” with Lucifer. In the past there were dozens of gods. Gradually through the obvious facts that the gods were not there, the number of gods has reduced, but for some reason, like the Greeks, the human race in general appears to be incapable of accepting the reduction to zero. What is interesting with the Greeks is that they couldn’t understand that something could be nothing. They finally did, but still clung to more than zero gods.

Looking back at religion in the past, horrific deeds were carried out in the name of God or gods, whereas enlightened individuals have never persecuted religion. That is the prerogative of religions themselves – they are forever persecuting each other. In the thirteenth century the pope said it was fine to kill people if they were not Christian, today some Muslim groups still think it is OK to kill people if they insult the prophet, Jews still abuse their male children, some religions in Africa carry out even worse abuse on young girls. It is all done in the name of one nonentity or another.

Enough. Every time religion is proven, absolutely proven to be wrong on any particular subject, it adapts itself and changes its beliefs. What a joke? The difference between a belief and a theory is that the former needs no evidence to support it and when it is proven to be wrong the belief just changes to another unproven course. Theory, on the other hand, is continually being tested by observation and experiment and refined.

However, returning to evolution, there are some groups, mainly  Christian, who believe in Creationism and forever complain that there is no record of evolution occurring that can be seen and measured.

The problem is with these people is that even when proof is demonstrated, they find idiotic reasons to disbelieve it.

Peter and Rosemary Grant have had the absolute privilege to witness and document evolution in progress.

From 1973 they spent six months a year on one of the Galapagos islands and have been studying the finches there. What they did not expect was that the island would suddenly be invaded by a larger finch from the mainland, but the resulting changes in the island finches showed evolution through competition to be demonstrated to them.

The larger mainland finch arrived in 1982 and its larger beak gave it an advantage over the island finches in competition for the seeds both consumed. The larger the beak, the easier to open the larger seeds.

In 2003 and 2004 there was a drought on the island and the larger beaked birds began eating almost all of the diminishing supply of large seeds. Of the original resident finches, those with larger beaks suffered seriously from this competition and started to die out.

However, among the island finches some had smaller beaks and they concentrated on eating the smaller seeds and managed to survive the drought. Island finches now have smaller beaks than they did in the early nineteen-seventies.

Interestingly the Grants also noticed that after an earlier drought in 1977, before the invaders arrived, the island finches with the larger beaks became dominant as they were better able to survive by opening the larger seeds.

This is truly evolution through competition in action on the later case and evolution through adaptation in the earlier case. Both demonstrating changes through natural selection.

The citation during the Balzan prize they won states, “Peter and Rosemary Grant are distinguished for their remarkable long-term studies demonstrating evolution in action in Galápagos finches. They have demonstrated how very rapid changes in body and beak size in response to changes in the food supply are driven by natural selection. They have also elucidated the mechanisms by which new species arise and how genetic diversity is maintained in natural populations. The work of the Grants has had a seminal influence in the fields of population biology, evolution and ecology.”

The Creationists will either dispute the findings by quoting hoaxes like Piltdown Man or by stating that God had caused the effect in order to show man that he was interfering in matters he is not able to understand.

Regarding those who believe in evolution being one of God’s gifts to the world, it does, of course mean that in the bulk of instances, He did not get his designs right first time and has proven Himself to be not just incompetent, but also far short of perfect.

Why people should be subservient to, prostate themselves before, pray to and be totally ignored by this invented God is a mystery to me.

It is time the human race grew up and faced that final barrier. We gradually reduced the number of gods to one, is it not time, as the Greeks finally realised, to accept the true number. Zero!

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The Image Has Repercussions On A Personal God

I placed this image on my FaceBook page with the comment “Every single smudge in this image, in addition to the face-on spiral and oblique spiral behind it, contains one hundred thousand million stars and this makes up a tiny, tiny proportion of the night sky. And all of this was created for us? Who is kidding who?” and I got one or two rather interesting comments which make it worth returning to the subject in a little more depth.

Two galaxies imaging over each other in a galaxy field

One comment was, “Interestingly, Tony, that is exactly why I believe in some sort of ‘God’. I’m not saying that I disagree with evolution, more that stuff is sometimes just too amazing to think that it is all just random…” and the other was, “The more we see of this universe, the more wonderful it gets, and the more it speaks to me of a glorious divine hand behind it all. I happen to think that evolution is God’s most creative idea!”

Firstly a little more description of what you are seeing. The Milky Way, best seen in the southern hemisphere, is our own galaxy. We are located part way along one if its spiral arms and because we are in its plane all we see is a “milkiness” which is some of the hundred thousand million or so stars which make up our galaxy. The face-on galaxy above is much smaller than ours, but has roughly the same shape so you can imagine the location of sol part way along one of those starfish like arms.

To get an idea of size, it takes a light beam 50,000 years to cross the milky way, our own galaxy, but it is only one of many. There are several in the local group of galaxies and M31, the most distant object visible to the naked eye is shown below left. We can’t see much of our own galaxy owing to vast amounts of interstellar dust obscuring our view along the axis. This dust is still forming new stars.Our local sister galaxy. M31 or the Andromeda Galaxy

M31 is about 2,750,000 light years away from us, but there is still work going on to finalise the distance  and it may well be as close as 2,500,000 or as far away as 2,900,000 light years. Now before anyone jumps on the fact that we don’t know exactly as being a failure of science, the distance will be more exactly known when a few more particular stellar incidents have been observed. But the important point is that the light has been travelling to us for 2.5 million years. What we see above left is what it looked like more than 2.5 million years ago.

It might sound as if these distances are vast, but what is being seen in the first image is mind-bogglingly further away. Just look at the tiny smudges around the edge of that image. Each of those is also a galaxy similar to the Milky Way or M31. If you look closely you can count dozens of them yet that image represents less than one millionth of the night sky.

Estimates, because, Barri, no one has yet had time to count them all, indicate that there are more than one hundred thousand million galaxies containing an average of one hundred thousand million stars. If you find the concept of these numbers in words difficult, then let me put it as a figure – 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 stars.

Because of the nature of light, we are also able to work out how far away those galaxies are and the answer is that they can be seen in all directions for some 10,000,000,000 light years. Beyond that the largest telescopes are looking back towards the big bang and galaxies then were still in the process of being formed. High energy objects are seen which it is thought eventually became galaxies. The explanations of this are rapidly growing more clear owing to the Hubble telescope and other new instruments.

What is the point of this post?

Well the first comment at the top of this post seems to suggest that there could be an all powerful being which created everything. There is no way of proving a negative so I must accept that as a possibility. Extending that possibility into a being which, is interested in each of us as individuals has no basis in fact and is such an arrogant belief that we should seriously fear the holders of such beliefs, very much indeed. People with these same beliefs, in the past, burned witches, stoned those they thought evil, murdered those of other beliefs and still damn anyone, who does not share their insanity, to eternal punishment in hell and to be forever damned with Lucifer. When they aren’t on crusades and murdering Islamic people, they are having their sky scrapers blown apart by their opposite numbers. Nice people with a nice God!

The second comment that evolution is God’s most creative idea takes us down the same path. If we call the creator “God”, for the sake of argument, then the comment might well be correct, although we’d really need to know a lot more about everything else in the universe before we could be sure that evolution on Earth is the most creative idea in the universe. It is also an interesting comment from the point of view that it makes no claims for God’s personal interference or interest in our lives and therefore carries some credibility for the rest of us.

So, both of the people who made comments have stated credible views.

Sadly, though, there will be people reading this (although they probably stopped long before this paragraph) believing that the earth is only six thousand years old and that all the evidence to the contrary, including the universe which surrounds us, was created at the same time to add some mystery to our lives. I can’t help but get angry with these people even though I am normally a most tolerant person. I don’t like to call people with strange beliefs “stupid”, but these can certainly be catalogued along with flat-Earthers.

I intend to come back to this subject in the future …. God willing of course?

Posted in God & Religion | 2 Comments

Archers – don’t read if you are not up to at least 1st July

I have followed The Archers since the late eighties and it is the only “soap” I follow.

However, I am really unhappy about the new storyline involving David & Ruth Archer and their family.

David is the main witness to an assault on his cousin and the gang involved are intimidating him to not give evidence. So far they have mutilated their lifestock, obtained the children’s mobile numbers and threatened them, shot out security lights, cause a stampede on an open farm day, opened gates allowing lifestock out, interfered with farm equipment and so it goes on.

While such things might be normal goings-on in Albert Square, this is NOT Ambridge. The storyline is unreal.

I have no problem with the original assault on Adam, but the intimidation is ridiculous.

Threats to witnesses happen to fewer than 1% of people and, even then, are firmly dealt with by the police and usually defused once and for all. Systems are also put in place by police to identify the culprits and further more serious charges brought. See police crime statistics.

This storyline is giving the impression that intimidation actually works and David has been put in the situation where his own mother and wife are pleading with him to cave in to this bullying.

What message does this send out to criminals – who also watch and listen to soaps, incidentally?

I don’t know whether there has been a change in writers for the Archers, but this is all way off normal Archers stories and someone needs to do something about making this particular storyline end quickly and effectively. To think that this nonsense might drag on until the September court case is anathema.

I cannot be the only person who feels like this. BBC take note. You are changing the character of your programme for the worse. There are a multitude of interesting rural and agricultural storylines which could be followed without inventing something so rare and so unrealistic as this.

Dare say the writers will do what they want anyway. Criminals must be getting some great ideas from this particular storyline.

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Levy, Villas-Boas & Rednapp – reflections

They say that time heals, but I sit here some weeks after Rednapp’s sacking and find that I still cannot reconcile Levy’s decision with good football sense.

Levy fired Martin Jol after a poor start to a season, he brought in less competent foreign managers on other occasions and fired one of those after only a few weeks. Tottenham is one of those clubs who seems to thrive on having a consistent management regime. Jol got that going and Rednapp proved it was correct.

I was very critical of Rednapp’s end to the last season when he had not concentrated on improving set-pieces and allowed too much freedom to Gareth Bale who is obviously better suited to be a winger, not an inside-left. Bale might like to think he is the next Ronaldo, but he is not that good in that way. He is brilliant on the left and Gareth Bale should concentrate on being himself, then others will be called the next Gareth Bale!

Rednapp allowed the season to drift away. Third place was lost to our arch rivals, Arsenal, and then our other main rivals, Chelsea, managed to steal our Champions’ League spot at the last second.

That could have infuriated Levy to the point where he made the irrational decision to dismiss Rednapp for a short period of uncharacteristic inconsistency. Short sighted, indeed.

Now we have another foreign manager. What can Villas-Boas do for Tottenham that Rednapp could not?

I have dreadful fears that 2012/3 will see us drop out of the top four or worse and that we will see yet another change in the next off-season to try to correct matters.

Levy, you have made a mistake. I’ll apologise for saying that if you prove me wrong, but know that you will not apologise when results show that I have got it right. That is because owners, these days, are so powerful they answer to no one, not even millions of fans worldwide who support this club.

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Is Andy Murray in the final, or is it just a dream?

After 74 years Britain has a tennis player in the men’s singles’ final. It is one of those horrible records which seem to go on forever. I remember a period when Spurs had not won at Liverpool for some 60 years. Once they did, it opened the floodgates and they have hardly lost there since.

But what pressure on Andy now? We all know that he can beat Roger Federer, but on Friday the man was simply incredible against Djokovic. I had been willing Federer to beat Djokovic as I though he would be the easier opponent if Andy did reach the final, but part way through the third set I realised the old saying that you should be careful what you wish for. Federer took Djokovic to pieces in his semi-final and suddenly I realised that he wasn’t the easy option by any means.

Whatever happens on Sunday, I’m sure the whole of Scotland will be rooting for him. Even the presenter who said on BBC that it was “a wonderful day for England” when Andy won, will have got over the tirade of criticism from Scots and be all for him in the final.

Go on Andy, do your best, the record you are now trying to beat is 78 years old – to win the Championship … and in shorts!

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Banks, Bankers & Executive Pay

I have been watching recent events with great interest. The Libor matter is difficult to understand and follow, but almost everything else is straightforward.

So, Libor first. It is quite obvious that there has been collusion between banks in fiddling the interest rate to their own advantage. Within hours of this becoming public the bankers are trying to pin the blame on government. Whether ministers or civil servants were involved is a total red herring. What the banks did was possibly illegal and definitely immoral.

Bob Diamond and other CEOs say that they were not aware of what was happening, yet it had been going on since 2009. These guys, with their multi-million pound salaries and even larger bonuses are supposed to be running the banks. Of course you don’t micromanage everything, that is why you delegate.

So these incompetent, cheating captains of banking did not properly delegate.

Whoever was fiddling the rates must have been someone’s responsibility. Why did he/she not stop it and report it upwards? The chain of command is there for just such eventualities and, in today’s world of unfair dismissal, no one is going to get dismissed for a single mistake, but where it involves the corruption of the system as outlined here, there should be a whole raft of dismissals and, hopefully, prosecutions too. I fear we will get neither and those who have fallen on their swords have spent the last several years building up reserves for themselves equivalent to multiple lottery wins. How good of them to resign and live the rest of their lives in luxury. Chance would be a fine thing.

So, executive pay. How did it get to this state? We all know, expect and probably don’t object to CEOs earning a lot of money, but it is the differential which seems to have gone mad. These guys seem to just vote themselves whatever figure they pluck out of the sky.

A consultant surgeon earns around £120k. Would we object to someone running a 10,000 person business earning double or treble or even quadruple that amount? Probably not if he/she did a great job, but that is not close to the £3,000,000 per annum being paid to these guys. It is silly money and also often linked to millions in extra bonuses and share options. OBSCENE is the only word.

So who will replace Bob Diamond? Someone currently earning 200k? So why not pay him 500k? Why offer millions? It does not make sense. They are playing with shareholders’ and clients’ money in setting these remuneration packages.

How does someone become a Bob Diamond? They are only ordinary guys who have a talent for performing well, but the difference between his ability and also-rans abilities are probably only marginal.

Somehow, executive pay must be capped and Britain should lead the way.

The NatWest saga: well this is just incompetence. When introducing a new or updated computer system what do you and I do? Unless we’re stupid we set up a restore point. So why did these idiots at the bank not set up a restore point.

Then all inputs and outputs are in their own individual files and, with storage costs could be kept for years, separate from the balances. That is how it is done. It means you can go back to the restore point and start again, adding in all the inputs and outputs after the system has been corrected.

Yes banks are big and yes, they have large numbers of customers and millions of transactions, but input and output files are always manageable. They are only data lists and should be independent of any account balances. That is the WHOLE idea!

Somewhere, someone installed that update without taking the precaution of ensuring the system was backed up and could be reinstated. There is no excuse for this and any CEO earning millions of pounds should be tearing heads off the incompetent idiots who allowed all of this to happen.

Frankly, of course, nothing any  of us say or do is going to improve the banks attitude to their customers, that they are just statistics and not real people.

Thanks, banks!

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Are holidays supposed to be dreaded?

Our time in Madeira was wonderful. Great apartment, lovely flowers, great food and pleasant weather. What a shame it had to end with easyJet.

While in Funchal I upgraded us so that our return flights would have speedy boarding included. We still arrived early at the airport and got checked in OK. Then security which was nowhere near as bad (or careful if that is your viewpoint) as at Inverness or Gatwick. In fact, I had left a tiny pair of scissors in my washbag and, of course, the X-ray picked them up. This was a lovely pair of Wilkinson Sword bathroom scissors which we have had for more than thirty years. I thought I was going to lose them, then the security officer just put them back in the bag and waved me on. How sensible for a change. He made a value call that I was not going to attack the crew or passengers with them. Most grateful. There is some common sense left in the world.

Once through security, though, things went downhill rapidly. easyJet announced at least an hour’s delay which would see it close to midnight before we’d get back to Gatwick. We would be stuck in the departure lounge for some two hours. Now, I use the word “lounge” advisedly as ALL of the seats were moulded wood. They were the most uncomfortable seats we have ever had to sit upon and it was impossible to find a good position to read or anything else. Looking around the “lounge” everyone kept shuffling and standing up and sitting down and moving positions. Hopeless.

The Madeiran tourist board chiefs and the airport managers should be forced to sit in this waiting area for two or three hours and see how they are punishing their visitors for having been stupid enough to come to Madeira in the first place. It will be a close run thing if ever we go back because of this and the fact that aches and pains get worse as you get older. How they could do this to their visitors? Giving us an unpleasant experience at the end of our visit. Crazy!

Eventually we got airborne and the speedy boarding meant that we managed to fight our way quickly to some good seats in the front half of the plane. If they allocated seats at check in this problem would not occur and there would be no scramble for seats. They don’t do that because they do not care about the stress, comfort and experience their customers endure.

However, being close to the front did not mean that we were far enough forward to get the cheese and pickle sandwiches which ran out by row five or six. The choice was then the  Madeira standard cheese and ham or ham and cheese or ham with cheese or cheese with ham. Once again I felt sympathy for any Jewish vegetarians travelling with us! With all the wonderful things we ate in Madeiran restaurants, why does this country serve nothing but a ham and cheese combination in its sandwiches and rolls? Weird.

The seats, of course, are far too close together and I noticed that the tall German gentleman in the isle seat could not get his tray to sit flat enough to put his drink on. What is going on in easyJet management. People are getting taller and their seat spacing is getting smaller. Why don’t they go the whole hog and strap us all up vertically. Could double the capacity. Could maybe triple it if they strapped couples face to face!

Flight over, we arrived at Gatwick. Once disembarked we were then held standing for some fifteen minutes in the corridors approaching immigration. This happened three more times at different locations. We really were being herded – literally! So, we were 40 minutes roughly just getting to immigration. No seats anywhere along this route for elderly or infirm and, frankly we are both rapidly approaching both categories. I really don’t think I could have managed it if my gout had chosen that time to play up.

At last we reached the immigration queue which is like a DisneyWorld queue doubling back on itself about eight or ten times. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, carrying heavy on-board carry-ons, this was absolute torture.

Finally we are allowed into the UK from the EU country we were leaving, immigration having finally decided that all these holidaymakers were not terrorists or trying to get into the country illegally. What is wrong with these people? Do they really think what they are doing is necessary? Madness.

FINALLY, we got through immigration and walked to the board which shows where you have to go to get your luggage. We stood here for more than an hour – no seats whatsoever in this area, until a gentleman we had been talking to decided to go off and take a look at the baggage areas.

What he discovered was that all the baggage areas were underneath the waiting area so we had been standing up completely unnecessarily and could have been sitting downstairs. With my ankle problems all this standing was no joke.

In the baggage area we continued to wait. There was no one to ask except a baggage expediting desk who knew nothing. It was even rumoured that the bags were locked on the plane until morning. Anyway, it took close to two and a half hours after landing to get our bags at 2.30am.

The customer issues here are obvious. No one from easyJet gave a damn about our wait and would probably blame it on the baggage handlers. The baggage handlers didn’t give a damn about us and, worse still, hid themselves from us utterly so that they could not be questioned or asked to provide some customer service. If they had been there, they would probably have blamed easyJet. There were no airport managers or support staff anywhere to be found because they don’t give a shit about us or easyJet or their baggage handlers.

The whole experience was a disaster. There was now no point in us getting a taxi for, probably, yet another dreadful Travelodge experience as the check in for our Inverness flight was 5am so we paid for a night’s accommodation we were not able to use. Could we have got there for a shower and an hour’s kip, yes I suppose so if we didn’t mind lugging all our luggage around the airport to a cab and then lug it all along endless corridors to a Travelodge room which would probably have been awful anyway given our recent experiences. We’ll never stay with them ever again and do everything in our power to stop others staying with them.

Costa Coffee - take it how we provide it or go somewhere else!So we planted ourselves in the sitting area by the Costa Coffee bar. I went to get coffees from them and they gave me my latte in a cardboard mug. Red rag to an already upset bull. I asked for it to be transferred into a china mug. “No we don’t do that at night, as there are only two of us on”, the server said. I asked if I had had a discount because of this. “No”, was the reply. Costa, you are not providing a proper service. If there is too much washing up for two people in the middle of the night then get a third person on. Don’t give the customer a reduced service. At the price charged for these coffees, if they cannot keep up with the dish-washing, then there MUST be money there for the extra staff. Greed, Costa, GREED!

With that our final easyJet flight was as OK as they can ever be and we returned home to blazing sun having had a terrific break, but a lousy time travelling both ways.

easyJet, Gatwick management, Gatwick baggage handling agents, British Immigration and even Costa Coffee – it is about time each of you realised that you are in the customer service industry. You are all failing British tourism or British people – probably both.

Will we go back to the beautiful island of Madeira? Before our flights home it was a definite yes, now I really don’t know. So sad, so unnecessary, so twenty-first century!

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